Hospital Nightmares and Blessings
by Copper's Mama
Summary: Traci/Jerry/Leo fic. Set five years in the future. A new baby causes stress for Leo, who does the unthinkable.


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_A Traci/Jerry comfort fic. _

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_Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue. _

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_A/N: To be honest, I kind of hate myself for writing this fic, but I can't really think of anything else to do right now, and writing keeps me calm. I just got a phone call from my mom telling me that my thirteen-year old brother tried to kill himself, and now I'm stuck here waiting for her to pick me up so we can go see him. I have some feelings to vent, so here it is. _

...

Traci Barber-Nash barreled her way through the hospital, seeking the nurses' station she'd been directed to. Her husband was racing along behind her, gripping her hand tightly, trying to let her know silently that he wasn't going to leave her side.

They finally reached the desk, and Traci slapped her hand down on the counter when she stopped. "My son!" she almost shouted at the nearest nurse-looking person. "My son was brought in almost an hour ago. Where is he?"

The nurse couldn't have missed her anxiety and worry if she tried, and put on her most passively-assuring face. "What's your son's name?"

"Leo. Leo Nash. Please, tell me where he is?"

The woman behind the desk typed into the computer, reading silently for a second before looking up at two worried faces in front of her. "He's in the children's ward, room 214 -"

She stopped when Traci turned immediately in that direction.

"The doctor will want to see you!" the nurse called out to her, accepting a short wave from the husband before he followed.

Traci ignored the woman, rushing to the children's ward and searching for the room number she needed. She was out of breath when she finally made it to the room, and gasped at what she saw when she looked inside.

Twelve-year old Leo was hooked up to an IV drip, with various cords running from his body to the machine, and telltale white bandages wrapped around his wrists.

Traci gripped her belly in shock, a whimper escaping from her mouth.

"He's okay," Jerry told her, breaking through the din of her motherly heartbreak. "He's okay, Trace."

Traci walked into the room, moving to her son's side and gripping his hand with one of hers, while her other hand came up to settle over his forehead. She felt Jerry step in behind her, his hand squeezing her shoulder; his attempt at comfort. "I don't understand ... he was happy. I thought he was happy."

Jerry didn't know what to say to that, so he just moved even closer to her, pressing a kiss down on her other shoulder.

They watched over the sleeping boy for a few minutes, before someone cleared their throat behind them, causing them to turn.

"Mr. and Mrs. Nash?" the doctor inquired.

"Sort of," Traci commented offhand, her eyes still stuck to her son.

Jerry caught the look on the doctor's face, stepping in to explain. "I'm Jerry Barber, Leo is my stepson. Traci is Leo's mother."

The doctor nodded in understanding, walking into the room. "Your son suffered a lot of blood loss, but he's recovering well. He'll need to stay at least two nights before I'm comfortable with him leaving. And he'll need to talk to a Crisis Worker."

"What happened?" Traci needed to know. "Why did he ...? The school called, but all they said was that he was here, and he tried ..." She couldn't finish.

"From what I understand, Leo found a broken piece of glass, went into the boy's bathroom, and cut a small gash across each of his wrists."

A pained sob escaped Traci's lips, her body lowering to drop her forehead against Leo's.

"He's stable, but we'll continue monitoring him through the night. If you have any questions, feel free to page me. I'm on shift until 6:00 am." The doctor waited a moment to see if they had any further questions, and then departed from the room.

Jerry moved back to his wife's side, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on her back.

...

It was closing in on nine o'clock pm when Leo began to stir.

Traci sat up immediately, brushing a hand over her son's face. "Leo?"

The boy blinked several times, groggy and weak. "Mom?"

Traci breathed a sigh of relief, that was quickly replaced by anger. "What were you thinking?"

Leo frowned sadly, unable to meet his mother's eyes. "I'm sorry, Mom."

Traci shook her head. "Why would you try to ... kill yourself? Aren't you happy? I thought we were happy."

Leo shrugged. "I don't know."

Traci brought a shaky hand to Leo's smaller one, holding it tightly in her grasp. "What were supposed to do without you, huh? What about your baby sister? Do you think she'd want to grow up not knowing her brother?"

Leo's face fell even further at that, looking over at his mother's enlarged stomach. "You would've gotten on fine."

Traci's eyes widened. "What?"

Leo sighed, glancing at Jerry before explaining, "You're starting your own family now. You'll have a new baby, and she's both of yours ... you won't need me anymore. I'll just get in the way."

Traci couldn't speak, she was so astounded. She couldn't believe her son thought that.

Jerry came around the bed, stopping on Leo's other side. He brought one strong hand to Leo's shoulder, rocking it a bit. "Buddy, you know I love you. You're just as much my son as Beth will be my daughter. We love you both the same."

Leo didn't look convinced.

Jerry sighed, leaning over so that his face was close to Leo's. "You know what your mom asked me before we got married?"

Leo looked into Jerry's eyes, shaking his head. "No."

Jerry glanced at Traci for approval, and when she nodded, he continued. "Your mom was worried that I only loved her, and not you. So, she asked me a question. There I was, down on one knee, ring in my hand, waiting for her to answer my question, and she said, 'What if the house was on fire?' Now, I looked at her like she was completely nuts, and she went on, 'Jer, what if the house was on fire. Me and Leo were both trapped in different parts of the house, and you could only save one of us. Who would you save?'" Jerry fixed Leo with a serious look, his gaze unwavering. "You know what my answer was?"

Leo shook his head again, absorbed in his step-dad's story.

"I said, 'I'd get Leo out of the house, and yell at you to get your ass in gear and meet us outside.' She laughed, and told me that she'd love to marry me."

Leo's eyebrows furrowed into a confused expression, trying to understand the moral of the story.

"What that means, Leo, is that you mean the world to me, even though you're not one-hundred percent my biological child. I would walk through fire for you - your mom would too - and there is nothing you could do to make us love you any less," Jerry informed him.

Leo's lips pursed together, trying to stop himself from crying.

"He means it, Kiddo," Traci confirmed. "This new baby is going to bring us all so much happiness, and I know that you're going to be an awesome big brother. But, how about we make a deal?"

Leo blinked the wetness out of his eyes, meeting his mom's eyes at last. "What kind of deal?"

"Well, how about after the baby's born, we'll have a special day every week, just for you and Jerry, and you two can go and do whatever you want. You'll have the whole day to yourself. Does that sound like a plan?"

Leo considered that. "You won't be mad at me?"

Traci coughed out a laugh, wiping her own tears from her eyes. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far right now, mister. But, I think we'll manage. You gotta promise me something, though."

Leo nodded. "Anything."

"You can never do anything like this again," she stated seriously, her eyes hard and determined. "I don't ever want to get a call from anyone telling me that you've hurt yourself."

Leo nodded, ashamed at the disappointment in his mother's eyes. "Promise. I'm sorry, Mom ... Dad." His eyes flickered to Jerry after he said, waiting for a reaction.

Jerry grinned despite himself. "That's the first time you've called me that."

Leo nodded, unable to say anything more.

"Thanks, buddy. You know I love you." Jerry ruffled the young boy's hair.

Leo smiled back. "I love you, too ... Dad."

Traci was crying different tears now, brushing a hand over her son's cheek. She halted after a second, her body going rigid. She looked down at her belly with a smile. "The baby kicked."

Jerry came back around the bed, placing a hand on Traci's stomach. After a few seconds, he felt the little _bomp_ of the baby girl's feet. "Leo, give me your hand."

Leo slowly reached his hand up, staring at his mother's stomach with uncertain eyes.

Jerry took Leo's hand, placing it on Traci's stomach and holding it there.

"I don't feel anything," the boy stated sadly.

"Just wait," Traci whispered, looking down at her stomach, and the three hands that covered it.

Four Mississippi's later, a big kick came.

"Wow!" Leo gasped, shocked at the feeling.

"That's your sister," Traci commented with a grin. She would give her son a hell of a lecture later, and probably end up crying on Jerry's shoulder while Leo was sleeping ... but right now, she just wanted to enjoy this moment. Standing there, with her husband and son holding onto her pregnant belly, while her little girl kicked hope into their lives.

They would make it ... everything would be okay. It had to be.

...

_The end. _

_Let me know what you think. Thanks for bearing with me. _


End file.
